Hey Kids!
I know it's been a minute but I've been a little a busy with work. I promise I'm going to get to posting more. I wanted to make a quick post about something that happened earlier this evening. It's something that's been bothering me for awhile now and I need some advice. I ordered some chinese food tonight for dinner (I know that's not good eating but I haven't gone grocery shopping for the week yet and I had a little craving for some wonton soup) and the guy that usually takes my order delivered my food this evening. Now he has delivered my food before and I've gone in and placed orders in person and picked up at the restaurant before as well. Well what bothered me is that I think he has a little crush on me or that he kinda of fancies me. Now of course that doesn't bother me that he has a crush on me...what bothers me is that I can't tell if he's gay or not and if he is just being overtly friendly. He is Asian and I don't have the best track record when it comes to Asian men and my gaydar! I will not go into what I'm referring to let's just say that it happened years ago and I was living in Hong Kong at the time and read the wrong signals and had to play it off in a way that mind me look super stupid.
Anyway I digress...the guy always makes conversation with me, even when I call in and he realizes it's me. A part of myself keeps saying that he's just giving good customer service. But another part of me thinks that he is going way above the normal customer service. Now he has yet to make a border line move UNTIL tonight. He delivers my food and when I'm signing for it he starts telling me how he likes my new complex and asking how I like it and if it was bigger than my last place and he even said "this place is probably more expensive as well, huh?" the way he was saying these things and the way he was looking at me and smiling the entire time and laughing and his body language was almost as if he wanted me to invite him in for a tour!
Now I know this may make me sound paranoid or conceited or whatever you want to call it...but there are other things that have happened that also factor in...such as when I had placed my first order there after moving into my new place. When he realized who he was talking to he instantly changed his tone and started calling me Mike and said "Oh so that's why you were at that H-E-B in Royal Oaks, you moved over there?" I thought nothing of it at first because I did remember thinking that I saw him. I told him yeah I had moved and that I couldn't believe he spotted me out of a crowded grocery store. His remark..."oh well you probably didn't notice me or remember me, you know some asian guy" now this guy sees plenty of people every day and I probably order from them on average of like 2-3 times a month. Now I know how I am when I have a little crush or I find someone attractive and he is starting to exhibit those same behaviors.
So should I take a chance and make a move? I mean he is cute and there is NOTHING going on with me right now in the sex department or dating (whole other conversation). Or should I just let it go? Honestly, I don't see it going anywhere other than a lay or two every now and then.
So I've got to ask, is he just being nice and making sure he keeps a loyal customer at the restaurant or is it just a little crush and I should play the field a little?
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The Spring Break
Hey Kids,
I'm sure some of you are sporting nice tans and a relaxed demeanor now after this past week's spring break. Spring Break is a time to relax, take a breather, maybe do some spring cleaning (could be your home, your Facebook friends lists or even your contacts list in your phone..lol) and get rejuvenated so that you can finish out the spring season strong. In order to welcome the summer with open arms instead of wanting to run from it and hide because your so exhausted. Well I believe I took relaxing during spring break to the next level. I mean I really did absolutely NOTHING! I laid around, slept, ate, watched TV, used the bathroom, slept, ate, watched TV, etc. Not necessarily in that order. Now I know a few of you are probably calling me a lazy ass (believe me I was calling myself that as well). But I think I might of needed that. I mean my line of work is very tough mentally because it can be so draining when you're only hired to do one job but you end up having to do 100 different ones (and not with a salary increase I might add). And on top of that I'm trying to meet the requirements needed to graduate as I am a doctoral candidate. So being stressed is something that I am very much familiar with. I haven't really discussed with anyone that I've done NOTHING during spring break. Despite having plans to finally go to the King Tut exhibit at the HMoMA (Houston Museum of Modern Art), reading two books (one is fantasy the other is self-help), planning to hang out with some new and old friends, and the main thing was doing a lot of catch up work on my dissertation and some research essays I'm writing and working on with a professor on campus.
I did none of that. I didn't even hook up with anyone or felt the need to hook up with myself during the break...there was no desire, motivation or want to do anything other then stay in my apartment and be a recluse. As I'm writing this I see that this may mean that my depression and anxiety issues have come back (more on that later). If that's the case I definitely need to make an appointment with my Doctor ASAP before it gets worse (I DO NOT want a repeat of 2007-2008).
So with this post I hope that those of you on spring break enjoyed yourselves. I hope that you did everything that you planned to do. I hope that you made sure that you didn't sit up in your homes doing nothing. And I definitely hope that those of you who needed it got your rocks off!
So I've gotta ask, was I a lazy ass over the break or was it ok to do nothing for once?
I'm sure some of you are sporting nice tans and a relaxed demeanor now after this past week's spring break. Spring Break is a time to relax, take a breather, maybe do some spring cleaning (could be your home, your Facebook friends lists or even your contacts list in your phone..lol) and get rejuvenated so that you can finish out the spring season strong. In order to welcome the summer with open arms instead of wanting to run from it and hide because your so exhausted. Well I believe I took relaxing during spring break to the next level. I mean I really did absolutely NOTHING! I laid around, slept, ate, watched TV, used the bathroom, slept, ate, watched TV, etc. Not necessarily in that order. Now I know a few of you are probably calling me a lazy ass (believe me I was calling myself that as well). But I think I might of needed that. I mean my line of work is very tough mentally because it can be so draining when you're only hired to do one job but you end up having to do 100 different ones (and not with a salary increase I might add). And on top of that I'm trying to meet the requirements needed to graduate as I am a doctoral candidate. So being stressed is something that I am very much familiar with. I haven't really discussed with anyone that I've done NOTHING during spring break. Despite having plans to finally go to the King Tut exhibit at the HMoMA (Houston Museum of Modern Art), reading two books (one is fantasy the other is self-help), planning to hang out with some new and old friends, and the main thing was doing a lot of catch up work on my dissertation and some research essays I'm writing and working on with a professor on campus.
I did none of that. I didn't even hook up with anyone or felt the need to hook up with myself during the break...there was no desire, motivation or want to do anything other then stay in my apartment and be a recluse. As I'm writing this I see that this may mean that my depression and anxiety issues have come back (more on that later). If that's the case I definitely need to make an appointment with my Doctor ASAP before it gets worse (I DO NOT want a repeat of 2007-2008).
So with this post I hope that those of you on spring break enjoyed yourselves. I hope that you did everything that you planned to do. I hope that you made sure that you didn't sit up in your homes doing nothing. And I definitely hope that those of you who needed it got your rocks off!
So I've gotta ask, was I a lazy ass over the break or was it ok to do nothing for once?
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
The "Small Penis"
Hey Kids!
Raise your hand if you've ever met a guy whom you found to be very cute, charming, intelligent, had a great sense of humor, could hold conversations and was so interesting that they continued to hold your attention? You find yourself drawn to them and can feel a connection being made. When you're kissing everything seems to feel just right...and then they take their pants off and the first thing that comes to mind is..."where's the rest?"
I know this has happened to many of you before. The question I have is how small is too small?
There are several definitions for the term "size queen" (SQ). Urban dictionary describes a "Size Queen" as a homosexual man or heterosexual woman, who prefers a sexual partner with a larger than average penis size. My friends think it's hilarious to call me a size queen. Only because I do enjoy and like a larger than average penis to play with and look at. But let's break down what this means. 1. I am not on the hunt for what I like to call abnormal penis (any penis that is 10 inches or more in my opinion is abnormal). I know and have met men who not only prefer 10 inches or more but they will not talk to or date anyone who doesn't measure up. 2. The average human penis size is between 5-6 inches. And if the term SQ is defined as preferring someone with more than the average, then yes I am a size queen. A bottom friend of mine said it best "I have a lot of buns back there so the meat has to be big enough to fill it up."
Now while there are lots of people who could be labeled as being SQ I don't really understand why it's made out to be a bad thing. I mean is preferring a larger than average size any different then preferring someone with a whole lot of ass? But I don't really hear people being called Big Buns Queens. So I'm making a declaration right here and now. I will no longer feel ashamed when someone calls me a size queen or judges me because I can't date someone just because they don't measure up. Sex plays a very important part in a relationship and if you aren't sexually turned on or attractive to the person you're with then you will experience other problems as you continue to lie to yourself and them.
Kudos to those of you who don't care about size and are happy with taking whatever you come across. But to me a little penis is a deal breaker.
I have to ask, are YOU a size queen?
"I love a big dick, I love the way it feels, I love it in my mouth, I love to touch it and I love to look at one." -Samantha Jones, Sex and the City
I know this has happened to many of you before. The question I have is how small is too small?
There are several definitions for the term "size queen" (SQ). Urban dictionary describes a "Size Queen" as a homosexual man or heterosexual woman, who prefers a sexual partner with a larger than average penis size. My friends think it's hilarious to call me a size queen. Only because I do enjoy and like a larger than average penis to play with and look at. But let's break down what this means. 1. I am not on the hunt for what I like to call abnormal penis (any penis that is 10 inches or more in my opinion is abnormal). I know and have met men who not only prefer 10 inches or more but they will not talk to or date anyone who doesn't measure up. 2. The average human penis size is between 5-6 inches. And if the term SQ is defined as preferring someone with more than the average, then yes I am a size queen. A bottom friend of mine said it best "I have a lot of buns back there so the meat has to be big enough to fill it up."
Now while there are lots of people who could be labeled as being SQ I don't really understand why it's made out to be a bad thing. I mean is preferring a larger than average size any different then preferring someone with a whole lot of ass? But I don't really hear people being called Big Buns Queens. So I'm making a declaration right here and now. I will no longer feel ashamed when someone calls me a size queen or judges me because I can't date someone just because they don't measure up. Sex plays a very important part in a relationship and if you aren't sexually turned on or attractive to the person you're with then you will experience other problems as you continue to lie to yourself and them.
Kudos to those of you who don't care about size and are happy with taking whatever you come across. But to me a little penis is a deal breaker.
I have to ask, are YOU a size queen?
"I love a big dick, I love the way it feels, I love it in my mouth, I love to touch it and I love to look at one." -Samantha Jones, Sex and the City
The "Dreamer"
Hey Kids!
So I was talking with a friend last week and they were telling me that I was a dreamer because I try to plan out how my relationships will be/should be. I kinda of understood what they were saying but then again I was kinda of intrigued by this notion that someone was labeled a dreamer just because they have an idea of what they want in a significant other as well as what they want in a relationship. I wasn't planning my relationships like they claimed, I simply have a very keen idea of what I want my long term one to consist of. And my previous one was not what I wanted out of a relationship. I always thought that these were good things to know about yourself. After all if you don't know what you want you'll never get it, right?
Furthermore, I always thought dreamers were people who had really no direction with their lives. They had big wants and goals but no push, drive or determination to do what needed to be done to achieve them. For example, a man who wants to be a well known and accomplished singer in mainstream music world, who is just expecting to be discovered on a corner or street singing. He has no formal training but he does have talent. He doesn't feel the need to make demos or try to set up meetings with people who are in the industry. He feels that it will just happen one day and he'll be famous. That to me is a dreamer.
So I decided to take this conversation to the streets and ask around. Most of the people I asked are individuals that I came across on a popular dating site. I will re frame from using the name of the one I was on. But the question that was posed was..."What do you want in a relationship? And does knowing what you want make you a dreamer?" I took a random sampling from a group of gay/bi/curious men that consist of various ages, profession and educational backgrounds.
And the conclusion that I came up with from my research is that most of them agree with my logic behind this. They all pretty much had realistic wants in what they felt they wanted in a relationship. A couple of them I had to elaborate that I wasn't talking about what they wanted in a specific partner. But the actual relationship. And they all said that knowing what you want doesn't make you a dreamer. Gonzalez (2012) mentioned that anyone who wants abstract things is a dreamer (see my example above). And I completely agree.
What about you? Do you think knowing what you want in a relationship, makes you a dreamer?
So I was talking with a friend last week and they were telling me that I was a dreamer because I try to plan out how my relationships will be/should be. I kinda of understood what they were saying but then again I was kinda of intrigued by this notion that someone was labeled a dreamer just because they have an idea of what they want in a significant other as well as what they want in a relationship. I wasn't planning my relationships like they claimed, I simply have a very keen idea of what I want my long term one to consist of. And my previous one was not what I wanted out of a relationship. I always thought that these were good things to know about yourself. After all if you don't know what you want you'll never get it, right?
Furthermore, I always thought dreamers were people who had really no direction with their lives. They had big wants and goals but no push, drive or determination to do what needed to be done to achieve them. For example, a man who wants to be a well known and accomplished singer in mainstream music world, who is just expecting to be discovered on a corner or street singing. He has no formal training but he does have talent. He doesn't feel the need to make demos or try to set up meetings with people who are in the industry. He feels that it will just happen one day and he'll be famous. That to me is a dreamer.
So I decided to take this conversation to the streets and ask around. Most of the people I asked are individuals that I came across on a popular dating site. I will re frame from using the name of the one I was on. But the question that was posed was..."What do you want in a relationship? And does knowing what you want make you a dreamer?" I took a random sampling from a group of gay/bi/curious men that consist of various ages, profession and educational backgrounds.
And the conclusion that I came up with from my research is that most of them agree with my logic behind this. They all pretty much had realistic wants in what they felt they wanted in a relationship. A couple of them I had to elaborate that I wasn't talking about what they wanted in a specific partner. But the actual relationship. And they all said that knowing what you want doesn't make you a dreamer. Gonzalez (2012) mentioned that anyone who wants abstract things is a dreamer (see my example above). And I completely agree.
What about you? Do you think knowing what you want in a relationship, makes you a dreamer?
Monday, February 20, 2012
The Valentine's Day Dinner
Hey Kids!
Well I hope everyone had a great day. I can honestly say that I spent Valentine's Day evening differently than I thought. Before I hit on that I would like to ask a question to the parents out there. Why in the world are you buying expensive flowers, candy, bears and little Valentine's Day keep sakes for your children but you claim you can't and (some flat out WON'T) make sure your child/ren have their school supplies throughout the school year. I mean I was just floored that a large number of students were carrying balloons and stuffed animals...cards and flowers from their parents and also for their special little middle school loves. But the large majority of those kids have NO paper, pens, pencils or their flash drives (which they need for my technology applications) or their books for their book bags. Folks say all the time that we need to pray for our youth and this generation...when in actuality it's the PARENTS we need to be praying for.
Anyway on to my next topic. I spent V-Day with my ex. Yes I know kinda of lame. But it beats having to spend it alone, right? It was funny because when he came over to my place, once he entered he let out a loud "I CAN'T believe I'm spending tonight with my ex." I couldn't say much because I agreed...lol...We ended up having a good evening. Nice conversation over a meal I prepared (Salmon Polomodara, with rice pilaf and a side salad) Yes, for those of you wondering, I am an excellent cook. Since he came over a little late (he came over after he got off work). I did allow him to spend the night. I was afraid that after "Dessert" (which was awesome)...we would start the whole talk of possibly getting back together and that I would be more open to it from being caught up in the moment. But I was actually able to let him know some things I hadn't expressed since we broke up and it was kinda of liberating. I mean I can honestly say that I have no desire to be back with him in a relationship aspect verus just pretending I didn't (like I had been doing for the last 6 months...don't judge me). So I guess Valentine's Day can bring more than just flowers and cards. It can also bring unexpected closure.
So I have to ask...how did you spend Valentine's Day?
Well I hope everyone had a great day. I can honestly say that I spent Valentine's Day evening differently than I thought. Before I hit on that I would like to ask a question to the parents out there. Why in the world are you buying expensive flowers, candy, bears and little Valentine's Day keep sakes for your children but you claim you can't and (some flat out WON'T) make sure your child/ren have their school supplies throughout the school year. I mean I was just floored that a large number of students were carrying balloons and stuffed animals...cards and flowers from their parents and also for their special little middle school loves. But the large majority of those kids have NO paper, pens, pencils or their flash drives (which they need for my technology applications) or their books for their book bags. Folks say all the time that we need to pray for our youth and this generation...when in actuality it's the PARENTS we need to be praying for.
Anyway on to my next topic. I spent V-Day with my ex. Yes I know kinda of lame. But it beats having to spend it alone, right? It was funny because when he came over to my place, once he entered he let out a loud "I CAN'T believe I'm spending tonight with my ex." I couldn't say much because I agreed...lol...We ended up having a good evening. Nice conversation over a meal I prepared (Salmon Polomodara, with rice pilaf and a side salad) Yes, for those of you wondering, I am an excellent cook. Since he came over a little late (he came over after he got off work). I did allow him to spend the night. I was afraid that after "Dessert" (which was awesome)...we would start the whole talk of possibly getting back together and that I would be more open to it from being caught up in the moment. But I was actually able to let him know some things I hadn't expressed since we broke up and it was kinda of liberating. I mean I can honestly say that I have no desire to be back with him in a relationship aspect verus just pretending I didn't (like I had been doing for the last 6 months...don't judge me). So I guess Valentine's Day can bring more than just flowers and cards. It can also bring unexpected closure.
So I have to ask...how did you spend Valentine's Day?
Sunday, January 29, 2012
The "Sleep Over"
Hey Kids!
Ok so I know that when I turned 30 that the things I use to do in my 20s I would no longer do in my 30s (well some things). Let me tell you what happened last night. So for a bday gift one of my friends in Atlanta decided to hook me up with someone they felt I would like and who would like me, who they know that lives here in Houston. So I reluctantly agreed to meet this guy. Well first off we have two completely different schedules. He works evenings and weekends, I am a M-F 8-5 guy. So we finally agreed on a time and it was Saturday evening. Now usually I would take that to mean like 9 or 10pm...because after chit chatting with him during the week I pretty much figured that this will be nothing more than a hook-up. But the dude didn't show up until like 1am!!!!
So we met and ended up having a sexual attraction to each other and so we ended up hooking up. The sex was very good. And as par the usual after we got off and cleaned up I was readying myself to escort him out of my apartment. But he got back in my bed and asked me to set my alarm! WTF!!!! I conceded and set my alarm and got back in bed as well. Needless to say I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking about what just happened "Set my alarm" that was definitely a first.
In my 20s I would not have cared that he showed up at 1am. And there would have definitely not been any sleeping over!
So I have to ask is this what's suppose to happen in my 30s? When I hook up with someone will I no longer get off and put them (or myself) out?
Ok so I know that when I turned 30 that the things I use to do in my 20s I would no longer do in my 30s (well some things). Let me tell you what happened last night. So for a bday gift one of my friends in Atlanta decided to hook me up with someone they felt I would like and who would like me, who they know that lives here in Houston. So I reluctantly agreed to meet this guy. Well first off we have two completely different schedules. He works evenings and weekends, I am a M-F 8-5 guy. So we finally agreed on a time and it was Saturday evening. Now usually I would take that to mean like 9 or 10pm...because after chit chatting with him during the week I pretty much figured that this will be nothing more than a hook-up. But the dude didn't show up until like 1am!!!!
So we met and ended up having a sexual attraction to each other and so we ended up hooking up. The sex was very good. And as par the usual after we got off and cleaned up I was readying myself to escort him out of my apartment. But he got back in my bed and asked me to set my alarm! WTF!!!! I conceded and set my alarm and got back in bed as well. Needless to say I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking about what just happened "Set my alarm" that was definitely a first.
In my 20s I would not have cared that he showed up at 1am. And there would have definitely not been any sleeping over!
So I have to ask is this what's suppose to happen in my 30s? When I hook up with someone will I no longer get off and put them (or myself) out?
Thursday, January 26, 2012
The Sex with the Ex
Kiss me softly, kiss me gently, kiss me just right. Run your hands down my chest and over my stomach and wrap around my big booty. Smack it one good time. Now get on your knees and take all of me into your mouth...inch by inch...
Hey kids!
You ever have those times when the sex is so freaking good you can go several days and up to a week without even feeling the urge to sleep with someone else? Well that's what happened to me this week. My 30th birthday was Monday (please no old jokes...lol) and I was trying to avoid hooking up with anyone and it's funny that I had several offers pop up out of no where including a threesome, when my sex life as of late is usually not that eventful. Well this one guy who always happens to text me at the wrong time (the right time) without fail does it again the other day. I was home trying to enjoy a mental health day from work. He texts me wanting to come over just for sex. I already told him no earlier that morning but I guess in this early afternoon he wasn't taking no for an answer. And I was too vulnerable to say no. So I agreed. He came over we took a shower and then we moved things to the bedroom and I will stop there. It was good, I mean really good. And I'm pissed!
What pisses me off is that it was with my ex-boyfriend, Fernando (not his real name). We broke up in June 2011 after being together for 2 years. It was one of those situations were you just knew it just wasn't going to work out and this was not the person you are meant to be with. So we both agreed it was time to end things. There was no drama, no name calling and not a whole bunch of mess. Just two adults who maturely agreed it was time to move on. Well...we have moved on (time heals the broken-hearted) but we have not moved on from wanting to have sex with each other. I keep trying to stay strong and resist him but when he starts being aggressive and speaking that spanish (2 years with me, so of course he knows how to turn me on) there is just no resisting when I'm in "that" place...lol
But during this last time we were together I couldn't help but wonder why the sex wasn't this good when we were together? Why did we allow the sexual intimacy of our relationship dwindle down and die.
*side bar* the last three months we were together were sexless!
But I love it when I have good sex. It curbs my very strong and high sexual appetite for awhile. Tonight I'm suppose to meet these guys for a threesome but I'm just not in the mood anymore...my appetite is still curbed! Damn you Fernando!!
So I have to ask...what does good sex do for you?
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Welcome!!!
I was 13 when I decided to dedicate my life to serving the Lord. That evening at revival I decided to take that step forward and walk down the aisle of the church and ask the Lord to be my savior. It was on that same night I mapped out a plan for my life. A plan that included being a respected Doctor of Medicine in the field of OB/GYN with a beautiful wife and on our way to starting a family. I had the love, pride and admiration of my parents and a bunch of friends who were just as successful in their various fields as I. All this was planned to occur before my 30th birthday at which I'd plan the next chapter of my life. They say as kids we can plan BIG and allow our imaginations to go wild. But "they" (whoever "they" are) don't tell you that most times as you get older things don't always work out just the way you planned it.
I'm MJ! And I'm conservative, realist, idealist, spiritual, very sexual, complicated melody, educator, friend, son, brother, foodie, lover of sports, movie critic and world traveler. Who has many goals, a couple challenges and a few dreams. I'm a proud half way out the closet gay (my parents and current colleagues haven't been told). I'm a transplant from North Carolina currently living in Houston, TX. And these are my thoughts about the decisions I've made, will make and have/will try to change in the future. Welcome to the life of MJ!
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