The "Small Penis"

Hey Kids!

Raise your hand if you've ever met a guy whom you found to be very cute, charming, intelligent, had a great sense of humor, could hold conversations and was so interesting that they continued to hold your attention?  You find yourself drawn to them and can feel a connection being made. When you're kissing everything seems to feel just right...and then they take their pants off and the first thing that comes to mind is..."where's the rest?"

I know this has happened to many of you before.  The question I have is how small is too small?

There are several definitions for the term "size queen" (SQ).  Urban dictionary describes a "Size Queen" as a homosexual man or heterosexual woman, who prefers a sexual partner with a larger than average penis size.  My friends think it's hilarious to call me a size queen.  Only because I do enjoy and like a larger than average penis to play with and look at.  But let's break down what this means.  1.  I am not on the hunt for what I like to call abnormal penis (any penis that is 10 inches or more in my opinion is abnormal).  I know and have met men who not only prefer 10 inches or more but they will not talk to or date anyone who doesn't measure up.  2. The average human penis size is between 5-6 inches.  And if the term SQ is defined as preferring someone with more than the average, then yes I am a size queen.  A bottom friend of mine said it best "I have a lot of buns back there so the meat has to be big enough to fill it up."

Now while there are lots of people who could be labeled as being SQ I don't really understand why it's made out to be a bad thing.  I mean is preferring a larger than average size any different then preferring someone with a whole lot of ass?  But I don't really hear people being called Big Buns Queens.  So I'm making a declaration right here and now.  I will no longer feel ashamed when someone calls me a size queen or judges me because I can't date someone just because they don't measure up.  Sex plays a very important part in a relationship and if you aren't sexually turned on or attractive to the person you're with then you will experience other problems as you continue to lie to yourself and them.

Kudos to those of you who don't care about size and are happy with taking whatever you come across.  But to me a little penis is a deal breaker.

I have to ask, are YOU a size queen?

"I love a big dick, I love the way it feels, I love it in my mouth, I love to touch it and I love to look at one." -Samantha Jones, Sex and the City

The "Dreamer"

Hey Kids!

So I was talking with a friend last week and they were telling me that I was a dreamer because I try to plan out how my relationships will be/should be.  I kinda of understood what they were saying but then again I was kinda of intrigued by this notion that someone was labeled a dreamer just because they have an idea of what they want in a significant other as well as what they want in a relationship.  I wasn't planning my relationships like they claimed, I simply have a very keen idea of what I want my long term one to consist of.  And my previous one was not what I wanted out of a relationship.  I always thought that these were good things to know about yourself.  After all if you don't know what you want you'll never get it, right?

Furthermore, I always thought dreamers were people who had really no direction with their lives.  They had big wants and goals but no push, drive or determination to do what needed to be done to achieve them.  For example, a man who wants to be a well known and accomplished singer in mainstream music world, who is just expecting to be discovered on a corner or street singing.  He has no formal training but he does have talent.  He doesn't feel the need to make demos or try to set up meetings with people who are in the industry.  He feels that it will just happen one day and he'll be famous.  That to me is a dreamer. 

So I decided to take this conversation to the streets and ask around.  Most of the people I asked are individuals that I came across on a popular dating site.  I will re frame from using the name of the one I was on.  But the question that was posed was..."What do you want in a relationship?  And does knowing what you want make you a dreamer?"  I took a random sampling from a group of gay/bi/curious men that consist of various ages, profession and educational backgrounds.

And the conclusion that I came up with from my research is that most of them agree with my logic behind this.  They all pretty much had realistic wants in what they felt they wanted in a relationship.  A couple of them I had to elaborate that I wasn't talking about what they wanted in a specific partner.  But the actual relationship.  And they all said that knowing what you want doesn't make you a dreamer.  Gonzalez (2012) mentioned that anyone who wants abstract things is a dreamer (see my example above).  And I completely agree.

What about you?  Do you think knowing what you want in a relationship, makes you a dreamer?

The Valentine's Day Dinner

Hey Kids!

Well I hope everyone had a great day.  I can honestly say that I spent Valentine's Day evening differently than I thought.  Before I hit on that I would like to ask a question to the parents out there.  Why in the world are you buying expensive flowers, candy, bears and little Valentine's Day keep sakes for your children but you claim you can't and (some flat out WON'T) make sure your child/ren have their school supplies throughout the school year.  I mean I was just floored that a large number of students were carrying balloons and stuffed animals...cards and flowers from their parents and also for their special little middle school loves.   But the large majority of those kids have NO paper, pens, pencils or their flash drives (which they need for my technology applications) or their books for their book bags.  Folks say all the time that we need to pray for our youth and this generation...when in actuality it's the PARENTS we need to be praying for. 

Anyway on to my next topic.  I spent V-Day with my ex.  Yes I know kinda of lame.  But it beats having to spend it alone, right?  It was funny because when he came over to my place, once he entered he let out a loud "I CAN'T believe I'm spending tonight with my ex."  I couldn't say much because I agreed...lol...We ended up having a good evening.  Nice conversation over a meal I prepared (Salmon Polomodara, with rice pilaf and a side salad) Yes, for those of you wondering, I am an excellent cook.  Since he came over a little late (he came over after he got off work).  I did allow him to spend the night.  I was afraid that after "Dessert" (which was awesome)...we would start the whole talk of possibly getting back together and that I would be more open to it from being caught up in the moment.  But I was actually able to let him know some things I hadn't expressed since we broke up and it was kinda of liberating.  I mean I can honestly say that I have no desire to be back with him in a relationship aspect verus just pretending I didn't (like I had been doing for the last 6 months...don't judge me).  So I guess Valentine's Day can bring more than just flowers and cards.  It can also bring unexpected closure.

So I have to ask...how did you spend Valentine's Day?